Despair and Hope
by Stoneage Woman
Summary: Do not trust to hope. It has forsaken these lands. Was there any truth to Eomer's words? Aragorn, Legolas and Eowyn are about to find out! A Helm's Deep fic, with angst, drama, orcs, and evil Saruman galore. Enjoy!
1. Default Chapter

Note to readers: All quotes encased in ** for quotation marks have been said in Elvish. 

Chapter One: Despair 

"Farmers, ferries, stable boys…." Aragorn said tossing the sword aside. "These are no soldiers." He was about to add that the King Theoden needed them now, more than ever, but the dwarf spoke first.

"Most have seen too many winters…"

"Or too few," Legolas finished for him.

Aragorn looked at them in surprise. Both their voices sounded uncharacteristically bitter.

He had meant to strengthen and encourage them. He seemed to have enhanced their despair instead. 

He was about to say something that sounded more encouraging when Legolas said suddenly, "They're frightened. You can see it in their eyes." 

Aragorn nodded, feeling more and more mystified. Legolas never, _never, _NEVER showed despair. Not in all their years of acquaintance, not once. He watched as his fried turned away from him. He heard the men around them cease talking, and turn to watch.

*And they should be, * Legolas said, still facing the wall. Aragorn winced at the skepticism in his voice. He turned and faced Aragorn again. *Three hundred…against ten thousand?!* 

*They have more hope here than they did at Edoras. *

*Aragorn, you know they cannot win this war. They are all going to die! *

"Then I shall die as one of them!" Aragorn shouted, his frustration and doubt getting the better of him. He strode out of the hall, elbowing the watching men aside in his haste. 

Behind him he heard the dwarf pacify Legolas, who seemed to have started after him, "Let him go, lad. Let him be." 

Aragorn slumped, discouraged, on a stone staircase sitting on the edge so as not to be in the way.

_Where are my courageous friends? _He thought. _What has become of their once undying valor that they are so quick to despair? And Legolas? I may not know the dwarf as well as I think I do, but my years of acquaintance with the elf are long. There is no excuse for him. He is generally more optimistic. Even when his dear cousin died he refused to shed a tear until he was alone. And now…_he shook his head, his thoughts distracted by the sight of a young lad not far from him, clad in a big coat of armour and an over-large helmet, looking at the unsheathed sword in his hand with uncertainty and doubt.

"Give me your sword," Aragorn said impulsively, for he was intrigued by the uncertainty on the boys face.

 The boy came up to him and handed him the sword. 

"What is your name?"  Aragorn asked.

"Haleth, son of Hama, my lord. Th-the men are saying we will not live out the night. They say that it is hopeless." The boy sounded distraught. Obviously the "men" were high in his esteem. 

Aragon's brow furrowed in consternation. "_The men are saying?" he wondered. _How strange that these men, who are so high in the boy's esteem, should express their despair about the first battle he is to fight in, when they know that their views will shape a good part of his. First Legolas, and now this…__

 Aragorn tested the sword, making a few neat cuts in the air. It was light and the blade was sharp.

"This is a good sword," Aragorn said handing the sword back to the boy and putting his hand on his shoulder, "Haleth son of Hama, there is always hope."__

 

The boy nodded gratefully, reassured, and made his way off. Aragorn rose and went to find a room that was empty where he could change.

~ ~*~ ~

The shroud of tense silence was enough to unnerve even the Lady Eowyn as she sat against the wall of one of the central caves. The place was more secluded than others and she had some amount of privacy. 

She had retired here after checking that all the women and their children were in the safety of the caves and no lad above fourteen remained. It had wretched her heart to quarrel with so many loving mothers and see the frightened faces of the young boys.

_If I could take your places and fight, _she thought, _then I would do so with no hesitation. If I were able, I would spare your mothers this pain. Oh how I wish I were a man…_

It was not the first or last time she had wished this. She had always wanted to be male. When she was young she had been so tomboyish…she smiled in remembrance. Her mother had despaired of her ever acting like a girl. She had played with Eomer all sorts of vigorous games and at that time she had been treated no differently than Eomer. Then a rift began to form. She and Eomer grew more to be brother and sister and less to be boisterous playmates. Eomer started playing with other boys. Everything changed. She hated it. She was never at liberty to be herself. She had lived like this for so many years that she had almost gotten used to it. Almost, but not quite.

"Waahhh! Waahhh!" a baby began to cry. Its mother whispered soothing words to it and pacified it. 

The lady next to her also began to cry slightly. She said to the mother, "You are so lucky, Amy, that your son is yet so small. Mine is fifteen and out there, preparing for battle. It is so awful…I wish I were you."

"Do not wish too hard, lest it come true, Elsie. You are far luckier than I. Your husband is eighty-six and hence he is not at war. Mine…mine…" Amy shrugged her shoulders and gestured towards the outside of the Deep and wiped a tear from her eye.

"Oh but you…" started Amy but Eowyn had heard enough. She stepped out of her corner and said to the two ladies, " We are all giving our loved ones up to this war and it is likely we will all lose someone that we love. Will there be any comparison then whose loss is greater? Be brave, Amy and Elsie, for their sakes. Consider yourselves lucky that you are women and not out in that madness." She almost smiled at how ironic she was being.

"S-sorry, my Lady," Amy apologized. Elsie nodded in agreement. 

Eowyn retired to her corner. For the first time it struck her how strange it was that _all_ the women were acting so selfishly. It was a strange sentiment, but she felt that with the coming of war, strange things happened in the minds of people. There were always some people who put a brave face about it and acted as if they were glad to send their sons and husbands to serve the king. It was merely an act, but others drew strength from it, and it benefited all. There had been a marked absence of these people, except perhaps for one distinguished man….

  She sighed as she rose to resolve yet another argument that had sprung up among the women. It was going to be a weary night.    

~ ~*~ ~

Aragorn did up the buttons of his jacket, over his court of armor. He was ready except for… 

He turned to find his sword and found Legolas right behind him holding it up. He smiled and nodded his thanks.

"You have led us this far and we have not gone astray. Forgive me. I was wrong to despair."

The smile immediately left his face. Legolas did not seem sorry for despairing but sorry for angering him. This was not like Legolas. He never gave apologies on the basis of identity. In fact, it struck him, Legolas rarely gave apologies at _all_. 

He saw Legolas watching him intently, he forced a smile onto his face and said, *there is nothing to forgive.* And he truly meant it. As the evening went by, he saw many instances of despair. Even on the King Theoden's face. He refused to believe it was a coincidence. 

As he stood on the outer wall of the Hornburg, preparing for battle, he remembered his own words of a few days ago, " Some evil shadows this land, sets its will against us." And suddenly he knew. _This has something to do with Saruman_, he thought. _There is no other explanation. So much despair from so many unlikely people…there cannot be so many co-incidences at one time. Oh Saruman, the trouble you cause us…_

A sudden clap of thunder distracted him from his thoughts. The clap of thunder had followed a bolt of lightning, which had illumined the entire vicinity. He gasped in awe and horror to see before him the multitude of orcs. He set his will against them and steeled himself for battle. He would have to overcome Saruman, he decided. There was no other way that they would survive the war without their hopes.


	2. Stirrings of Trouble

Chapter 2: Stirrings of Trouble 

Aragorn came to himself slowly and painfully. He sat up and looked around, and started. He saw Gimli in front of him single-handedly fending off many orcs with his axe. _In my defense,_ he realized. The last thing he remembered was a huge orc blasting a part of the outer wall to bits, despite Legolas's many attempts to kill it before it could. Then everything went black.

He saw the orcs pushing Gimli into the water that had gushed out from the moat when the outer wall had fallen. They were practically drowning him.

 "Gimli!" he shouted in alarm, jumping up. With his sword, he dealt a few well-aimed strokes, which threw the orcs back a step or two. He took Gimli's arm and pulled him to his feet. The dwarf shook the water off him with a low grunt and gripped his axe tightly as their assailants began to advance again. 

Aragron too, kept his sword ready. An idea struck him, and he used his sword to signal to the elves on the wall. The elves immediately took the cue and shot a number of arrows at the orcs, causing them to retreat a little. Then Aragorn shouted *Charge!* to the soldiers around them and ran headlong into the orcs. He swiped at them, killing many as he pushed forward into the enemy. 

He saw through the corner of his eye the dwarf hacking at the thick necks of orcs with his axe, and smiled momentarily at the look of satisfaction on Gimli's face. Here at least Gimli could catch up with Legolas's count. Almost instinctively he looked around for the elf, as he cut off the head of yet another orc.

 And what he saw shocked his sword into stillness. Legolas was standing on top of the he outer wall, with his face buried in his hands. His shoulders were shaking and his bow hung uselessly at his side. Nobody heeded him; they were all too preoccupied with their own troubles. Aragorn watched as he conquered the sobs and lowered his hands from his face, which had failure and dejection written all over it. Aragorn saw his hands tremble slightly as they gripped his bow and pulled out an arrow form his nearly empty quiver.

What happened after that Aragorn never knew. The faces of the teeming orcs all blurred before his eyes, his sword fell to the ground. It wasn't as if he felt any sort of weakness, no he was strong. Strong enough, at least, to challenge Saruman. For he was sure now that Saruman was behind all this. And he was enraged.

_Saruman, Saruman, Saruman, _his mind screamed over and over again. He could see nothing, hear nothing, was oblivious to all around him. He only concentrated on the image of the wizard; scarcely knowing what he was doing, almost forgetting why he was doing it. And then, just when he felt that he would break from frustration, a female voice also joined in. He didn't know whose voice it was or whether it was real, or a mere dream, but it was very strong, and full of life and fire. It blended with his voice as he called "Saruman" over and over again. And then suddenly the blackness in front of his eyes began to vanish and a dim light replaced it. He opened his eyes, and found himself in Isengard, in a tower-room, looking straight into the face of Saruman himself.

~~*~~

"Aragorn!" Legolas screamed. He watched his friend's face contort with rage – for a moment Legolas thought it was directed at him, for Aragorn was looking in _his _direction – but no, the anger was too great to be for Legolas. He leapt forward, dashing the remaining tears from his eyes. 

Aragorn didn't know what failure meant to Legolas, especially now, when all hope of winning this war had quite faded from his eyes. For Legolas, the more hopeless the situation was, the better it was for him, because he fought twice as well in those circumstances. Failing was hateful then, and it wrung tears from his eyes, tears that never would have fallen had it been any other occasion. 

Legolas watched Aragorn's sword fall from his hand, and his fear mounted, the orcs were beginning to surround Aragorn. But Aragorn did not seem to see this. His body had gone rigid and his eyes were shut. Legolas let out a cry of alarm as one orc raised its spear and began to close in on him. He turned and ran down the stairwell for a little way, waltzed over a couple of orcs, and landed at the part of the wall that had been blasted by the orcs. He managed to climb down to the ground, using the uneven parts of the stone as footholds. Landing neatly on his feet, he rushed toward the big group of orcs that had by now surrounded Aragorn and fought his way through them. He was just in time to see one of the orcs raise its spear and smite Aragorn's side. Aragorn's face still held the same expression of determination and hatred and his eyes were still closed. He just crumpled slowly to the floor and didn't move a muscle other than that. For one terrible moment, Legolas thought that he was dead, but a soft sigh escaped his lips just then, which told Legolas he wasn't.

_Thank God_, he thought; but a new problem arose. There was no way he could take Aragorn into the safety of the Keep, without having to face at least a hundred orcs while helping him. And at the moment Aragorn didn't look as though he was capable of doing anything for himself, so that would leave them defenseless. Legolas's only choice was to fight with orcs and drive them away from Aragorn until he snapped out of his seizure. 

_And when will that be_, he thought, as he raised his sword. _If it isn't soon the loss of blood from his wound might kill him. Fool of a Man. No one can trust that race for a million gold crowns. _Anger filled his heart, born out of his worry for Aragorn. He could not understand what Aragorn had done. Whatever it was, it had inactivated him for the rest of the war. _And_, thought Legolas,_ there is no way we can win this war or even survive the onslaught of Saruman without him._

_~~*~~_

"So King Theoden took his people to the Hornburg, did he?" said Eomer slowly, watching the bent old wizard in front of him. "Atleast that is what _you_ say. You say you left Edoras three days ago, while they were preparing to leave. No, it is not possible. You cannot have reached here in three days on just a horse, even if you permitted yourself not a moment of rest, as I perceive you have done. You are lying. You are not Gandalf the Grey, more likely you are the White Wizard himself."

"You're words are half true. First of all I am not Gandalf the Grey, but Gandalf the White." He threw off his grey cloak and showed them his true form. They all gasped in fear as he drew himself up to his full size, and unmasked his power. 

"And secondly," he continued, "Shadowfax is not just a horse, he is the King of all Horses, coming from the Meras, and ten times as quick as any of these horses you have here. But you must believe me. I am not Saruman. I am a friend of Theo-"

"That doesn't make you a friend of ours," Eomer shouted angrily. "A king who banishes the only people loyal to his kingdom is no friend of theirs. And we are not all that sure that your being Theoden's friend makes you any other than Saruman the White either." He growled angrily, thumping his spear on the ground.

It was Gandalf's turn to get angry this time. 

"You know as well as I do that it was not the King but Saruman who banished you. And besides-"

"Even if that _is_ true, it does not excuse the King's later conduct. You said yourself that you had to come here by stealth. You said that Theoden refused to send out riders to look for us. Does that sound like friendship or enemity?" There was a murmur of agreement from the other Men too, at this.

Gandalf saw immediately that the more he tried to convince Eomer, the more he would distance himself from him. He could not keep trying him now. He would have to win his trust. And that would mean he would reach Helm's Deep a little late. _Oh Aragorn, _he thought, _the defenses have to hold. _He knew Aragorn well enough to know what his reply would have been.

_They will hold Gandalf, they will hold. _

But not for long. He knew the force of an Uruk-hai onslaught better then they did. He knew for a certainty that the defenses could not hold for long.

~~*~~ 


	3. Negotiations with Saruman

Title: Despair and Hope

Chapter 3: Negotiations With Saruman

"The heir of Isildur," said Saruman, smirking slightly. "Yes, I was expecting you."

Aragorn saw something stir out of the corner of his eye. He turned and gasped at what he saw. It was a pearly white figure, something like a ghost, but there was no doubt of whom it resembled. It was the Lady Eowyn. The face was exactly the same.

He turned back slowly, trying to get his bearings. He took a deep breath and looked down at himself, afraid of what he might see. He also seemed to be of the same pearly white, ghostly material. Were they dead? Was he dreaming? He wondered. It was so highly disconcerting to be able to see the floor through his own self that Aragorn forgot for a moment who was standing in front of him. He gaped for a while, unable to speak.

Saruman cleared his throat.

"Is-is this some sort of trick?" Aragorn asked, his voice shaking slightly. His voice sounded curiously distant, as if it was from somewhere close but from nowhere in particular.

"A trick?" Saruman said. "I should think not. You were calling for me, were you not? I could feel your rage and bewilderment. I thought you would like to speak to me, so I conjured up your spirit. But I did not expect her," he nodded towards Eowyn, "She came because she was thinking of _you_, I suppose."

"What?" Aragorn said, confused. 

"I heard you calling my name. I knew you wanted to speak with me. So I tried to conjure you're spirit to me. But this form of magic is very complicated. Anyone who was thinking of you when I started to perform the spell would have heard your voice calling me. And if they joined in, either by impulse, or otherwise, I would have no choice but to conjure them up as well. So I had to conjure her, for the same reason."

Aragorn turned and looked at Eowyn. A silvery blush crossed her pearly face. He turned back and faced Saruman.

"I don't believe you," he said. He had understood what Saruman had said but he found it very incredible and highly improbable.

"All you have to do is to ask her. She will tell you." Saruman nodded again toward Eowyn.

Aragron turned again, watching Eowyn's face. "Is it true?" he asked. She just nodded once, confirming Saruman's story.

"What do you want with me, then?" Aragorn said harshly. 

"What you want with me," the wizard replied.

"I want you to give them their hopes back," Aragorn shouted. "You took them didn't you? Didn't you? You foul, evil traitor! There's no need to pretend you don't know what I'm talking about. You took their hopes. Give them back!"

"There's no need to get angry. Yes, I did take their hopes. But you can't do anything to me _now_. You have no power over me whatsoever. But you do have something you can give me. Think about it. Your hopes for all of theirs."

"You are insane."

"No I am not. I should put my offer more clearly. If you give me your hopes, then I will give back all of theirs."

"Why should I trust you?"

"You are in no position not to trust me. You are at my mercy."

"If I am at your mercy, then why not just take my hopes forcefully? As you did theirs?"

Saruman frowned, perturbed by the sharpness of Aragorn. "I suppose I must be honest with you," he said. "I took their hopes with the aid of the Palantir. You are the master of this particular Palantir. I cannot use it against you without your consent."

"What do you want with my hopes?" Aragorn asked after a moments silence.  
  


"That does not matter."

"But-"

Eowyn, who had not said anything until now said softly, "I do not understand what it is the both of you are talking about. But…but it seems to me that Lord Aragorn need some time alone to make what is obviously a difficult decision." Aragorn noted that her voice too had the peculiar distant quality.

"Fine," snapped Saruman, moving to the other end of the room and turning his back on the two of them.

~~*~~


	4. Making a Decision

Title: Despair and Hope

Chapter 4: Making the Decision

Aragorn turned and faced Eowyn. 

"Is what Saruman said really true, my lady?" he asked her. "Did you really hear me calling his name? Were you actually thinking of me?"

"I- yes, I was." She sounded embarrassed. 

"What happened?"

"What do you mean, my lord?"

"I mean, what sort of form did you leave behind? What does your body look like without its spirit? Is it continuing to function mindlessly, or is it merely a lifeless form?"

"I do not know. In any case, it would not matter. I was in a private corner of one of the central caves. I was leaning against the wall. I had asked not to be disturbed for a while, as I needed to gather my thoughts. The last thing I remember was your voice calling 'Saruman, Saruman' and my joining you, and then finding myself here. But why are you asking?"

"Because the last thing I remember was hundreds of orcs swirling around me and attacking me."

She gasped. "Do you think you are injured?"

"If my body became lifeless when I left it, then yes, I think it is highly probable."

"Then you had better make your decision fast, so we can get back before you bleed to death or something, that is if you are injured, which I sincerely hope you're not."

He nodded. "What do you think I should do?"

Her face mirrored surprise. "I thought that should have been obvious, and that you should now only be gathering your courage to tell the White Wizard."

He gave her a quizzical look. "What do you mean? This is the most difficult decision I have made in my life!"

"I think you should humor him."

"What?!" His surprise made him incoherent. "How can you…what do you…my Lady Eowyn!" 

"Don't interrupt me, Lord Aragorn, listen to me for a moment. Think reasonably. You have the strongest character I know of, you and you alone can carry on the façade that you yet have your hopes when you don't. Also, if we defeat the Dark Lord, then we will have defeated Saruman, probably killed him, and then all the evil magic he has ever done will be undone, and the good will be strengthened. In that process you will regain your hopes. Didn't you know that? It is the rule of all wizards, is it not? "

"Yes, but what if we don't defeat him?"

"That will mean you will be dead; then what use would you have for hopes anyway?"

Aragorn was quite flabbergasted. This was so completely uncharacteristic of Eowyn that it had stricken him dumb. He was also aware that she cared for him in more ways than one. How could she say such things with such a straight face?

"I can't believe this," he burst out finally. "You- you're… how can you be saying this to me? Just like that? You do love me, don't you?" He instantaneously regretted saying it. This was a subject both of them avoided very dutifully, and without exception.

"In more ways than one," she quoted his unspoken thought. She paused for a moment, them said, "it is taking more strength than you realize to be saying these things to you. But I have to. Because I think that is our only hope."

He smiled bitterly at the irony.

"Don't worry," she said softly, but with conviction. "I know we'll win through in the end. We _will _get our hopes back?"

"We?" he asked. 

"Your hopes are as good as mine, you know."

"Eowyn, I appreciate your faith in me, but I don't know, _I don't think_ I will get my hopes back if…if I give them up."

"Ah," she said smiling slightly. "You've trapped yourself by saying that. Don't you hear the despair in your own voice?"

He nodded, taken by surprise; he hadn't realized that before.

"You see, Aragorn? This is why I'm trying to convince you to give up your hopes in the first place. Hope is not a thing. At the moment your hoping is not active. That doesn't mean you don't have them. When the White Wizard takes away you're hopes, you'll probably feel nothing more than this. It won't mean a part of you has gone, it will just mean you will have a sense of dull sadness and dark foreboding."

"But imagine feeling like that every day, every second Eowyn. It would kill me. It would kill anyone."

"But you wouldn't feel like that every second. Tell me, even in the same grave circumstances, did your elf-friend Legolas seem constantly, completely hopeless? Was he sad all the time?"

"No," Aragorn admitted, as he remembered the ardent joy on Legolas's face when Haldir and the elves had arrived. He was finally convinced that she was right. Being without hopes for sometime wouldn't kill him. 

"Alright then, I'll do it." He took a deep breath and called across the room, "I've made my decision, Saruman."

Saruman walked over and stood in front of the both of them. "Yes?" he asked in a moment's silence. 

"I shall humor you."

"That's right, I knew I had gotten through to you," Saruman said smiling in triumph. "You," he shot at Eowyn. "Pray don't think of him while I do the spell, I have no use for your hopes."

Before Aragorn could ask him what use he had for _his _hopes, Saruman withdrew a small black box from the interiors of his robes, and set it on the floor. He began to say some strange words that Aragorn couldn't understand. Aragorn saw something bright, like a white light, the same color of lightning fly from his chest and toward the box. Surprisingly, he felt nothing shift in his feelings. As Eowyn had said, he was already in despair.

 The black box opened and hundreds of lights came out, but most were dimmer than him. They swirled around Eowyn and him. Saruman's chanting grew louder.

  Aragorn caught a glimpse of the lights flying to the tower window and out of it. Then Aragorn felt a sudden flying sensation in the pit of his stomach, and then the next second he felt the hard ground beneath him, and heard the sounds of battle. He opened his eyes, and the moment he did this, a terrible burning pain hit him in the side. He gasped in pain. Orcs were all around him, closing in on him. Suddenly Legolas appeared in front of him, driving back the orcs. 

"What is wrong with you?" Legolas was screaming over his shoulder. "Fifteen minutes! Just fainted in the middle of a battlefield of orcs. And you can't even fight again now."

Aragorn tried to speak, but couldn't. His eyes watered in pain. The world began to spin.

"Gimli, help him!" the elf screamed turning around for a moment to speak to the dwarf. Aragorn felt a thump of a rough had on his shoulder.

"Come on, laddie." The dwarf huffed and puffed as he helped him to his feet. Aragorn leaned on him, unable to support himself. Gimli half dragged him toward the blasted part of the fortress's outer wall. Aragorn was still aware of Legolas fighting the orcs. He caught glimpses of the elf's golden hair, flashing in the moonlight, and the sheen of his ever-moving sword.

"Haldir, rope!" Gimli shouted. A rope was thrown down from the causeway.

"Hold on to that, laddie," Gimli said, pressing the rope into Aragorn's hand. Aragorn took a grip on the rope and felt himself being pulled up. He fought to remain conscious. After an eternity he felt a hand grasping his shoulders, and then his body went limp, and he knew no more.

~~*~~    


	5. Aragorn's Pain

Title: Despair and Hope  
  
Chapter 5: Aragorn's Pain  
  
Legolas sat in a corner of the room, hugging his knees to his chest and staring at the floor. He was sitting right next to the bed on which the gaunt, tired and badly wounded Aragorn lay unconscious.  
  
Gimli watched the elf worriedly. He had stayed in that position for the last two hours without moving. He had not spoken a word. Gimli had urged and urged him to take some rest but he hadn't listened. He hadn't even replied.  
  
Finally, Gimli couldn't take it any longer. He shook Legolas by his shoulder. Legolas raised his stricken face to Gimli's.  
  
"What?" he replied, trying to mask his anxiety by keeping his voice steady, and failing miserably.  
  
"Legolas you must take some rest," Gimli said, as persuasively as he could, "You can't go on like this. We've done all we can for Aragorn, and it won't help him if you sit here brooding and worrying like this. The orcs may have gone for now, and I can't imagine why, but you know as well as I do that they'll be back. You have to rest to keep up your strength."  
  
Legolas didn't reply. He bit his lip and lowered his head to stare at the floor again.  
  
"Legolas! Answer me!" Gimli said. "Don't you-"  
  
He was cut short by a movement on the bed. Legolas also perceived it and jumped to his feet and gazed down on the now wakeful Aragorn.  
  
"How are you feeling?" Legolas asked him breathlessly.  
  
"Sore," Aragorn said. "You don't look too good yourself." He gave a weak chuckle. "What happened?" he asked.  
  
"Same question I wanted to pose to you," Legolas replied, smiling slightly. "One moment you were standing fighting a bunch of orcs, and the next you suddenly went completely rigid, and didn't move a muscle even after you were badly injured."  
  
"Ah," said Aragorn. "That's what happened, is it? I thought it might."  
  
"What do you mean you thought it might?" Legolas spluttered, suddenly very angry. This was how the past two hours had been for him, terrible anger alternating with unspeakable anxiety. He tried to find more words to express his anger, but couldn't.  
  
Aragorn watched him closely, and sighed. "Why are you so angry, my friend?"  
  
Legolas's anger drained out of him. He suddenly noted the light in his friend's eyes was dimmer than it was wont to be. He spoke slowly now, choosing his words carefully.  
  
"I'm sorry. I just...I can't understand why you had to incapacitate yourself like this. It puts a chill in my bones, and then, it also makes me wonder, because I know we won't be able to win this war without you." He paused after this incoherent statement, knowing Aragorn would understand it perfectly. *Why are your eyes less bright, mellon? What happened to you?* he asked in Elvish.  
  
"Hey," Gimli grumbled, for the first time making his presence felt. "Don't talk in languages I can't understand. It's very rude!"  
  
Legolas grinned. "Master dwarf, would you care to join Haldir and the others outside? I hear they are having a debate on the stupidity of dwarfs."  
  
Grunting, Gimli left the room swiftly.  
  
Legolas smiled after him. Then he turned back to Aragorn. *An explanation, mellon?* he said softly.  
  
*I beg your pardon, Legolas* Aragorn said, trying desperately to change the topic. *But shouldn't you be out on the causeway, fighting?*  
  
*The orcs have gone. They left half an hour after we brought you back here. You remember that, don't you ?*  
  
Aragorn nodded. *Why is that? Why have they left?* he asked.  
  
*We think they are preparing some new devilry. They will be back soon. We've put some men on the watch. We can't see anything but some orcs milling around a huge, round thing. We don't know what they're up to, but we will prevent them, we are prepared for it.*  
  
Aragorn smiled. "It worked, then," he muttered.  
  
"What?" Legolas asked, not understanding.  
  
"Never mind," Aragorn said shaking his head. Legolas suddenly noticed the waning light in his eyes again.  
  
"You have an explanation for me, mellon," he said in a hard voice, suddenly angry again. "In fact I rather think you owe it to me. What happened?" "I know I owe you an explanation, Legolas. But giving it to you...would break me. It would make things too final. Though I don't know why I bother. It's not as if I'm going to be living tomorrow to face the consequences anyway. We are all going to die by tomorrow."  
  
"Mithrandir will come," Legolas said, frightened by the expression on his friend's face. "In a few hours. It is not yet daybreak."  
  
"Mithrandir won't come. Neither will daybreak. It is over."  
  
"It is NOT."  
  
"I'm too tired for this...if you want an explanation, you'll have to ask Eowyn."  
  
Legolas stared at him for a moment, then swung out of the room, knowing that the sooner he got any explanations, the sooner he'd know how to help his friend.  
  
~~*~~  
  
"Eomer!" Gandalf said. "It is time for you to come to your senses. For heaven's sake, your king and countrymen are dying fighting those orcs and you...you are deserting them." It was the second time he was trying to convince Eomer that day. Seven hours had gone by since he had first come to seek their aid. It was night now. The horses were resting. So were the men.  
  
"I have not deserted the king, the king has deserted me!" Eomer shouted, beside himself with rage. "I was reputed to be more than his nephew, I was reputed to be his son. And I believed it. I believed he meant it when he said I was as good as a son." He laughed bitterly. "But I was wrong. What sort of a father would exile his son? What sort of an uncle would exile his nephew?"  
  
"You're not still barking up that tree, are you?" Gandalf retorted, with genuine amazement. He paused. "Even if that were true, think of your sister, Eomer. Surely she would want to see you one last time."  
  
"Before what?" Eomer said, suddenly scared. "She's not dying, is she?"  
  
"Not now. But she will soon. Three hundred against ten thousand are terrible odds. They will be defeated. The orcs will kill everyone. Even the women. And your sister is certainly one of them."  
  
Eomer said nothing.  
  
"Your only hope is to go and fight, and save them before it is too late." If it isn't already, he added silently.  
  
"Hope? You talk of hope? It has forsaken these lands."  
  
"If it has, then it has. That doesn't mean you must too...do you not trust me by now? I could have killed you all by now. If you need more proof, here is my staff. Keep it until this journey ends. I am powerless without it."  
  
"No, Gandalf," Eomer said slowly, "You've given me proof enough. Keep the staff; you will need it before this is over. You are right, of course. We must go back."  
  
"Excellent! I knew you'd see reason. Prepare the horses. We must leave before down. He stooped, and walked out of Eomer's tent.  
  
We will arrive at least nine hours later than I promised, Gandalf thought. I hope they can hold on until then.  
  
~~*~~ 


	6. Be As a Rock for Him to Lean on

Title: Despair and Hope

Chapter: "Be As a Rock for Him to Lean on"

"Are you …sure?" Legolas asked, a little incredulous of the tale he had just heard.

"I saw it with my own eyes and heard it with my own ears, Legolas," Eowyn replied, running a hand down her face wearily. She was exhausted, for she hadn't had any sleep for a long time. Not since they had set out for Helm's Deep from Edoras.

She cradled the baby in her arms, singing to it softly.

" Child, the goddess of Sleep does call

You to the Realm of Dreams;

If you in obeying her wishes stall,

You'll cause her soul to weep.

So glide to that world of wonders

To where so many away,

And you shall be the first to emerge,

With the coming of the break of day…" 

The child's eyes drifted close, and Eowyn heaved a sigh of relief, putting the baby down next to its fretfully sleeping mother.

Legolas eyed her, surprised by this new side of Eowyn. He had always thought of her as a female version of Aragorn and he could not understand this streak of mother in her. But of course, that was a presumption he was making for he did not know her very well, he realized. He knew Aragorn had shown traces of similar emotions within himself, on certain occasions. And it did not surprise him in the least.

"Did you make that up yourself?" he asked.

"Yes, in the course of the night, it was inevitable. We are all short of sleep after our long journey, but I can endure better than some. I ordered them all to try and rest and most seemed fairly happy to oblige. But the children are less easy to handle."

He looked at her closely, noticing the dark circles under her eyes. She looked tired out.

"Eowyn, you really should take some rest yourself," he told her.

"I should not. I don't think I even could. The war is intense, and ever crash or bang seems like a terrible happening to me."

Legolas smiled sadly. " I do not envy you. It must be terrible being the one who has to wait and wonder who you will be tomorrow, at the end of the battle, - a widow, an orphan, or a grief-stricken lover." He paused and lowered his voice. "I will not let you wait, Eowyn. I will give you news about Aragorn as soon as there is any news to give. Even…even if it is bad."  

"He needs you now, Legolas," Eowyn said earnestly. "You must not let him or anyone else know that you know the truth of what happened to him. You must be strong, and stand true, be ever hopeful before him, not shed a tear. Be as a rock for him to lean on. You alone can carry on this façade. I have faith in you."

"You shouldn't," he murmured.

He turned to leave, a bitter look on his face. She suddenly understood that look in a flash of insight. He thought it was _his _fault all this had happened.

"Legolas!" she cried out, wanting to put him at ease. He turned and gave her a questioning smile, but it didn't reach his eyes. 

She wanted to assure him that it was in no way his fault, that he could not be blamed, that it was due to Saruman that all this was happening.

But she didn't. She couldn't. She could not find adequate words to.

"Good luck," she said instead, and watched his retreating back with regret.

~~*`~~

"Well, my friend, you are back," Aragorn said, as Legolas re-entered the room. "Did Eowyn tell you anything? Did she-"

"She is about as stubborn as you are…Estel," Legolas said, choosing his words carefully. He had never lied to his friend, and he wasn't about to start now. And he needed to remind Aragorn that he _was _hope. That it would and could never leave him.

Aragorn stirred, his eyes showing the grief he felt at being called "Estel." It wrenched Legolas's heart to see the pain he had inflicted. He almost wished he had not called his friend by the name of  "Estel." But as his resolution weakened, he remembered what Eowyn had said but minutes ago. 

_Be as a rock for him to lean on. _  
  


"Estel," he said again, "what should our course of action be, do you think? What about the orcs? I have no idea what they are up to, though I'll warrant it is in no way beneficial to us."

"Legolas, will you please not call me 'Estel?'" Aragorn asked, and the pain in his eyes made Legolas's heart weep.

"Why not?" he replied, and by some miracle he managed to keep his voice steady.

"I…well…oh, never mind, it doesn't matter."  

Legolas shifted his position slightly, so Aragorn could not see the two tears drop from his eyes onto his cheeks. 

"What about the orcs…Estel?" Legolas swallowed a sob as he used the name again, but still he managed to keep his voice steady.

_Be as a rock for him to lean on._

"Oh yes, I've been thinking," Aragorn began. "I have some kind of a plan. But it depends on, well, the caves."

"The caves? In which the women and children are now?" Legolas was surprised.

"Yes…in fact, why don't you call King Theoden, Haldir, and Gimli and let's discuss what's to be done."

"Alright…Estel."

_Be as a rock for him to lean on._

The words kept repeating themselves to him as he stumbled out of the room.

_I must be strong._

His heart beat faster, as he struggled to contain the tears that threatened to fall.

_I cannot cry. That is what started all this  in the first place._

He leaned against a wall. 

Why did I cry? How could I lose hope? How come I didn't realize something was wrong? I was in unnatural despair. If I had been strong then, he would not be weak now. If I had been strong then, none of this would have happened.

Be strong now, a voice in his head urged**.**

I will, he promised, and took a deep breath before he started off to find Haldir, Gimli and Theoden. 

Even as he walked away the words kept repeating themselves in his mind, accompanied by Eowyn's face, earnest and sad.

_Be as a rock for him to lean on._

~~*~~


	7. Planning and Plotting

Title: Despair and Hope

Chapter 7: Planning and Plotting

"Well, Lord Aragorn?" Theoden said, as he, Haldir, Legolas and Gimli entered the room. "Legolas tells us you have an idea. We are so desperate now that we will try anything."

"You did say you'd be willing to try anything, right, your Majesty?" Aragorn asked cautiously. What he was about to suggest no king would ever allow when in his right mind. He sincerely hoped Theoden was not in his right mind.

"Anything, Lord Aragorn! We are losing time with all this ideal chatter. In the name of all Middle-earth, tell us your idea. I give you my word I will not scorn it without reason."

Aragorn paused. "Is…is there anyway out of the caves? A secret way, one whose existence the Uruk-hai would never suspect?"

Theoden's face mirrored surprise. "What on earth has that got to do with it?"

"Never mind that, your Majesty, just answer the question quickly! We are in need of haste. You said so yourself."

"I…well, I'm not exactly sure, but I think there might be a passage. But Eowyn would know better than me. She and Eomer used to play in those caves as children." 

"Then fetch her! Believe me this is very important."

"I will go," Legolas said. He left the room, closing the door softly behind him.

 Haldir moved towards Aragorn.

*How are you feeling, mellon?* he asked in Elvish. He was far more anxious then his cold, calm face displayed. Aragorn had been badly hurt.

*I am feeling fine,* Aragorn replied.

Haldir's eyebrows rose in incredulity. 

*Then you are most certainly terribly hurt* he said. *The antics you get up to! Really mellon, one would have expected more from a friend of elves. *

*But I am no ordinary elf-friend, * Estel said, chuckling, feeling surprised he even had the heart to chuckle. However, his laugh quickly turned to a low moan. His hands pressed at his ribs, where he had taken deathly hurt from the orc. *Don't make me laugh! *

*There you see, * Haldir said triumphantly. *You are feeling fine? The ease with which you say it, you could be dying, and no one would know the difference. *

*I…* Aragorn started, but broke off as the door opened and Eowyn came in, trailed by Legolas.

"What is this all about?" she asked, looking around at Aragorn. "You wished to speak with me?"

"Oh…yes, there is actually a small matter…."Aragorn said, hesitating.

"Yes?"

"Is there- is there any way out of the caves?"

She looked surprised. "There are many ways. The caves are a labyrinth of tunnels and passages. It would depend on how far you wanted to go. They all come out at different points."

"The orcs are about half a league from the causeway. Do you think there is anyway we can get out behind them? Take them by surprise?"

"Well…"Eowyn said, her brow furrowing deeply. "Yes there is one. It would come out just behind the orcs. If that is indeed the distance they are from the causeway."

"But what has that got do with anything, lad?" Gimli asked. "Do you seriously think-"

"_This_," Aragorn said, interrupting him, "is what I propose. The men, with the exception of one small contingent, will be lead by Lady Eowyn through that passage. They will come out through that passage behind the orcs and take them by surprise. As for the remaining men, they will keep a watch on the causeway, for the Uruk-hai will get suspicious if they see no watch on the outer wall."

"But," began Theoden, eager to protest.

"Eowyn will _only_ lead the men up to the entrance. She will _not _under any circumstance go and fight herself." Aragorn looked at Eowyn pointedly.

"That's all very fine," Haldir said. "But we are still too few to have a chance of over-powering them. Even if we do take them from behind, what good will it do?"

"I am betting on the fact that the 'huge thing' the orcs are milling around is in fact the same kind of weapon they used to breach the outer wall," Aragorn replied. "One of you must, in the confusion, go to the explosive and try to turn it on. That person will of course be dressed as an orc. When they managed to turn it on, they are to shout something, a signal, so all our men can get back into the passage as fast as they can. Passages of this sort are usually sheltered. I imagine that once in the passage the men will not feel the greater effects of the blast? Eowyn? Is this correct?"

"Er…quite, but all this is based on a lot of assumptions, some wild guesses, and of course the fact that everyone will probably die anyway,"

"Well-" Aragorn began, but Theoden cut him short.

"Wait a minute," he said. "We are first of all assuming that Eowyn _will_ lead the men up to the entrance of the passage. I disapprove entirely. Not only is she a woman, but she is also a woman who _would _defy all orders and go and fight if she was within a league of any battlefront. I cannot put any woman, let alone my dearest niece, in danger of this sort."

"Your majesty, we have absolutely no choice," Aragorn replied. "I know my plan is based on a lot of assumptions, but my assumptions usually turn out to be correct…and let's face it, no one around here has any betterideas. We _must_ act now. We have to take them unprepared and unawares."

*Estel, * Legolas cut in, *Why go to these desperate measures? Mithrandir is coming, dawn is nearly here-*

*In case you hadn't noticed, mellon, * Aragorn snapped, *Dawn is already here, and Mithrandir shows no signs of coming. We cannot wait now. How many times must I say this - we have to act _now_. * 

There was a long, awkward pause. Legolas turned away from Aragorn, sick at heart.

Finally, Theoden cleared his throat. "Alright. I give in. I do see the sense in what you say. But Eowyn must promise me that she will under no circumstance fight."

"I promise, uncle," Eowyn said sweetly, beginning to ease out of the room. "It is time to make the necessary preparations. I will move the women and children out of the caves into the innermost and securest part of the Keep."

 As everyone began to hustle out of the room, eager to make preparations, Legolas caught sight of Eowyn's fingers, crossed behind her back.

~~*~~


	8. A Friend in Need

Title: Despair and Hope

Chapter 8: A Friend in Need

Legolas stepped into Aragorn's room. It was nearly time for them to start.

*Estel, * he said, a little hesitantly. He was still trying to keep up his resolution of being strong for Aragorn's sake, but it seemed to be making Aragorn inexplicably angry. *I- we are leaving in another five minutes. * He stopped, not knowing how to say what he had come to say.

*Good luck, Legolas, * Aragorn replied coldly, turning his back on Legolas. *_Estel's _best wishes are with you. *

*Mellon nin…*

*Shouldn't you be leaving now? * Aragorn asked.

*Goodbye* came the shaky reply. Legolas left the room as silently as if he had never been there.

His heart ached. This was the one thing that could and would break his resolution.

_Oh mellon nin_, he thought achingly, _I may never see you again, and that is all you have left to say to me? I can't believe this. If my last conversation with you was the coldest one we ever had, I'd never forgive myself. If I get through this alive, I swear I will never call you 'Estel' again._

~~*~~

They filed through the long, narrow passage slowly. Legolas and Eowyn were having a whispered conversation about Aragorn.

"At first I thought he had gotten over it," she said, "judging by the way he came up with such an ingenious plan. I thought you had managed to become help him in some way. But from what you tell me now, I'm not so sure. He appears bitter, cold and terribly hopeless. I think…I have no idea what to think of him actually. I can't say at all."

"Yes…" Legolas replied. "The way he didn't even say goodbye, it was as if he hated me. Actually, he should hate me. I reminded him so forcefully that he was still the hope of men, that it broke even me. Of course it broke him. This is all my fault."

"Legolas don't talk nonsense. You know you had to do it. The very fact that you did it gave him at least some hope back. How else would he have been able to come up with a plan like that? How else?!"

"But still…" he was interrupted by a hand being placed on his shoulder. He looked up and he saw Haldir. 

*Yes, mellon nin? * he asked tiredly. Being the friend in need all the time was killing him. 

*What is wrong with Estel? * said the other.

Legolas drew a long breath. *Nothing.* He noticed the incredulous look on Haldir's face. *Well something is wrong, obviously; but it is not my place to tell you. _He_ doesn't even know that I know.*

*You have been 'friend in need' long enough. I've noticed how weary you've become. Whatever's wrong with Estel is affecting you very deeply as well. Let me share your burden.*

Legolas threw up his hands in resignation. "I don't care anymore. You can just ask Lady Eowyn to tell you. I do not have the heart."

Haldir turned to Eowyn. 

"I'll have to make it quick. We are nearing the entrance," she said. "Although I do wish, you were not dressed like an orc. It makes me a little uncomfortable to tell you as it is, without that, confound it all!"

"Ah well," Haldir said, grinning at her. "If I must do the most important job on this entire mission, as it were, then I must be given allowances."

Legolas gave him a playful punch in the ribs. "As if we don't give you all kinds of

 allowances anyway!"

"Being lead orc does have its minus points, though. I need allowances."

Their laughter echoed down the passage. It was probably going to be the last laugh they were going to share together.

~~*~~

The rain beat down upon Theoden's back. His mind wandered yet again to how Eowyn and the others were faring. 

He somehow wished he were with them. Even though keeping a watch on the causeway was a very important job, he would rather have been with Eowyn. He wanted to make sure she would _not_ fight. He somehow knew that with a free reign like the one she held now, Eowyn would not heed the promise she had made when the time for fighting actually came. She _would _fight. _Oh well_, he thought, _I suppose I can't stop her all the time. She's like a caged tiger whose hunger hasn't been satisfied. She will break free._

He looked towards the skies. _God grant they may be safe._

_~~*~~_

Notes from the Stone Age:

To Star-Stallion: Thanks for the note on elvish grammar, really needed and appreciated it; thank you very much.

To The Dark Wanderer: What happened to you all this time? You disappear after three chapters, and then reappear on the seventh?! Awww, I'm just glad you're back is all. Thanks for all the encouragement.

And thank you to all my silent readers too.


	9. Goodbye

Title: Despair and Hope

Chapter 9: Goodbye

"Alright," Legolas said in a whisper, as all the men piled into a few caves, just before the passage opening. "You all know what you must do?"  
  
A murmur of assent rang through the caves.

"When I shout "Charge" you attack. I will remain inside so I can prevent orcs from entering," _and keep Eowyn from exiting,_ he added silently, "with my arrows. Haldir remains inside until he can slip out and mingle with the orcs. When Haldir lights the fuse, he will shout the signal. All of you must get back inside. And please attempt to keep the orcs from getting into the passage as far as possible. You must hurry. We cannot wait for too long. Be as silent as you can, so they may not realize that you are attacking them too soon. Kill as many as you can, and try to keep yourselves from being killed. Is that clear?"

"Yes," the men murmured.

"Alright, get ready now," Legolas said.

He walked to the entrance and peeked out. The orcs were still circling the explosive, thank goodness. He waited till a flash of lightnig lit up the skies and then he shouted, "Charge!" at the top of his voice. The men all rushed out, the archers first, shooting at the orcs as they went. Legolas readied his own bow, keeping one eye on the orcs and one on Eowyn, that she may not sneak out unnoticed by him. 

Outside, a roar of fury and surprise broke from the orcs and all hell broke lose as they noticed their assailants.

Haldir slipped out, wishing Legolas luck as he went.

Haldir pushed through the orcs and Men as fast as he could. He got to the huge sphere without much trouble. It had a metallic luster but the texture of wood. He was trying to find the fuse when an orc suddenly caught him by the collar and said, "Hey! What do you think you're doing! Go and fight, you."

"Erm…the boss told me to guard this," Haldir said quickly, praying for luck.  He did not get it. 

"The boss! The boss never told you any such thing as he's standing right in front of you. Who are you? You are not one of the Uruk-hai," Ugluk was looking at Haldir with deep suspicion. Quick as lightning, Haldir whipped out the dagger he always kept in his boot and plunged it into Ugluk's heart. Cursing himself for his blunder, he looked around to see if anyone had noticed him. But they were all too busy fighting with the men. 

Haldir suddenly found the fuse. He was shocked to see how short it was. In a flash, he suddenly saw the weak point of the entire plan. He would shout the signal. The men would all rush into the caves. Then he would light the fuse…but he himself would not be able to get inside the caves. The fuse was too short. The orcs would be crowded at the entrance, there would be no way for him to get inside.

_I am going to die._

"Death to all Men! Death to all Men!" As they heard the signal the men all began to rush inside. As if in a trance, Haldir took a torch from the hand of a dead orc a few feet away. 

_Goodbye,_ he thought silently. _Goodbye Legolas. Goodbye Aragorn. You have been very good friends to me. Do not grieve for me. My life has been very lonely, and if not for the both of you, I would be glad to leave it. I will see you perhaps in the Halls of Mandos. But for Valar's sake let it not be too soon._

He turned resolutely away from the caves, away from the Middle-Earth he had come to love, and lit the fuse with a quaking hand. _Goodbye,_ he thought again and he watched the fuse become shorter and shorter as the flame got closer to the bomb, and closer to ending his life.

Notes from the Stone Age:

 Sorry this was so short, but I wanted it to end on a cliffie, ha ha. Please review, now that you're here, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! This was the only real cliffie in this story so please try not to kill me.  

Thanks to all my darling reviewers! I luv you all!

Goodbye!


	10. In the Caves

Title: Despair and Hope

Chapter 10: In the Caves

"Well that's everyone, I think," said Eowyn, wiping sweat from her brow.

Legolas heaved a sigh of relief. It had been a job to handle his bow and at the same time try and help the wounded into the passage entrance. The injured had to be transported as far back into the caves as possible so they wouldn't get in the way of the proceedings. Everyone else kept getting in each others' way as it was. And it made matters worse that they were in need of great haste.

The orcs were still trying to come in, but the passage entrance was so narrow that only one could come at a time and that one, whenever he tried, found himself staring down the length of Legolas's bow and arrow. As a result, there was a kind of space around the entrance where none of the orcs could go, except the dead ones.

Another cry of "Death to all Men!" rang through the crowds and reached Legolas's ears. Suddenly Legolas realized that everyone was not yet in the safety of the caves. One person was outside awaiting his doom. One person.

Legolas's world froze. _No_, he thought, _this cannot be happening_.

"HALDIR!" A scream of terrible realization escaped his lips. The bow and arrow fell from his hands. His hands instinctively reached for his twin knives. He began to run outside. Nothing would stop him from saving Haldir. Not a sea of orcs, not a wall of fire. Not-

"Eowyn," he gasped as he swung around to see who had grabbed him by the collar. "Let me go, Haldir, he-" He struggled against her but she was exceptionally strong, for a woman.

"You can't help him," she tried to tell him. "You can't save him. You'll only kill yourself, Legolas-"

"Let me go, or I'll attack you, I swear-"

Out of the corner of her eye she saw the orcs begin to swarm in to the passage at the sudden absence of Legolas's bow and arrow. The situation was desperate. There was only one decision she could come to and she came to it quickly. She took her sword from under her dress, which she had carried against orders, and turned.

Legolas was still struggling against her desperately.

"I'm sorry, Legolas. I have to do this," she told him.

He stopped struggling for a moment, and looked at her in surprise. "What-?" he started to ask, but by then she had already turned her sword around and had brought its hilt crashing onto his head, knocking him out cold.

She turned on the orcs, silently praying the bomb would go off soon, and began to fight them. All the other Men were already down the passage, already out of hearing, even if she _had_ cared to call for aid. But she hadn't. The hungry fire inside her made her fight well, every move of her sword was lethal and she killed many, in those few moments before the bomb went off.

The huge blast had such an impact that it threw her back, off her feet. Her sword was knocked from her hand. There was still one orc in the passage. He advanced on her menacingly, sword in hand, teeth bared like a horrible animal. She tried to get up but found herself already pushed against a wall. Before she knew what was happening, the orc had plunged the sword into her shoulder. Fire ran through her entire left side. She gasped in pain, her eyes beginning to water. He advanced again, the sword was almost to her chest now. He raised the sword above his head. It gleamed a little as it began its fatal descent to her heart. She shut her eyes…bracing herself…

Nothing happened. All Eowyn heard was a loud whoosh, a sword pushing into flesh, a yell of pain and a body dropping to the ground. She opened her eyes slowly, scared of what she might see. 

"Legolas!" she gasped joyfully. Legolas pulled his sword out of the orc and bent down beside her.

"Are you alright?" he asked urgently.

"I'm fine- Legolas, are _you_ alright?" she blushed ashamedly as she said it.

"As alright as a person can be, after been knocked down by sword hilt," he said dryly.

"Legolas, Haldir-" She couldn't seem to finish the sentence.

"I know," he said turning his face away.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

There was a long pause, punctuated by Legolas's ragged breathing.

"Come on," he said rising, and offered her a hand. She took it, and tried to pull herself up but the movement made her shoulder throb painfully. She sat down again in a hurry. The world started to spin. A voice was calling her, but it was fading away. Little dots danced across her vision. The voice continued to call but she decided to ignore it. The pain in her shoulder was growing; her vision was dimming. She gasped in pain and suddenly her world went black.

 Legolas swore loudly as Eowyn's limp form fell against him.

Notes from the Stone Age:

I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I had to kill him, I had to! I didn't know how to save him. Some one had to die and since he doesn't make much of a difference to the main plot-

Haldir: Thanks a lot!

Stoneage: Well it's true.

Haldir: Well that doesn't mean you had to kill me. And you don't have to say it like that. I do mean something to the story. Ask them points to reviewers.

Stoneage: Oh just shut up, will you?

Haldir: Why you-

Stoneage: I said SHUT UP!

Haldir: blinks Okay, I'm shutting up.

As I was saying, I had to kill him. I love him too but sniffle he had to go breaks down and starts sobbing

Okay I'm done now. On a happier note, there's another cliffie for you. Aren't I evil.

Okay, review replies!

To The Dark Wanderer: Oh I see. It's in the name. That's interesting. You're lucky you have a pen name like that, one that let's you off the hook so easily. If it was somebody else, I'd have thrown a fit!

To Star-Stallion: Hello again, I thought you'd disappeared. Thank you! When on earth are YOU going to update. I wanna see some action ASAP.

To grumpy: Thank you so much! You made my day by reviewing.

 To Lintulinda i luvasi ello eldar: That is one LONG pen name! And what does the parting line mean? Anyway, thanks for reviewing!

Bye all! See ya next update! Please R&R!


	11. Being Strong

Title: Despair and Hope

Chapter 11: Being Strong

"Is she going to be alright?" Aragorn asked.

Legolas stopped pacing for a moment and said, "The healers said I got her back in time, she didn't lose as much blood as she could have. They're working on closing the shoulder wound right now. She was lucky. The blade was not poisoned."

He continued to pace. It was as if he was trying to escape himself, escape the pain of losing a friend, and the only way he could do that by walking up and down, up and down, ceaselessly.

Aragorn watched him thoughtfully. He knew something was wrong. His friend did not seem at all happy about the victory of Helm's Deep. Now that Aragorn had come to terms with the fact that he was no longer the Hope of all Men, some of his perceptivity was coming back to him. He could see that Legolas was in a great deal of pain and that he was struggling to hide it.

Legolas? he asked.

Legolas made no reply, he merely glanced in Aragorn's direction, and continued to pace.

Legolas, is something wrong? Aragorn asked cautiously.

Legolas opened his mouth to lie, but the look on his friend's face stopped him. His friend would find out anyway. It was best that he know now.

Aragorn- he stopped.

Yes? Aragorn urged him

Aragorn, Haldir, he-

What? Tell me quickly Legolas. Aragorn's voice was full of fear.

Legolas drew a deep breath and turned away from his friend. Haldir is dead, Aragorn.

What? Aragorn said in bewildered shock. What did you say?

Haldir is dead Aragorn. He died in the blast. He didn't get inside in time. Legolas's voice was harsh.

Legolas-

I'm sorry Aragorn. I can't hear this right now. I know you're hurting but- He stopped, unable to continue.

Come here mellonamin, Aragorn said softly. Let us help each other. Please.

No we can't, Legolas said, his voice shaking in anger. Only Estel can help me. And you are not Estel anymore. You are Aragorn.

There was a short pause.

"How long have you known?" Aragorn asked him in a hollow voice.

"Since when I went out to talk to Eowyn. She told me."

There was another longer pause.

"I'm sorry, Aragorn. I'm supposed to be helping _you_ be strong. But I can't deal with that right now. One of my best friends is dead. No one can help me deal with that, perhaps not even Estel."

He turned and strode out of the room. Aragorn watched his retreating back shake with an aching heart.   
  
_Oh please,_ he begged, harder than he had all that dark night. _Please let me be Estel again. Oh Valar, I implore you, give me my hopes back. To help my friend. Please…please…please…_

_......._

Far away, unknown to Aragorn, his prayers were being answered.

Saruman cowered before the palantir, bowing to the wrathful Eye of Sauron.

"You said that the battle was won if Isildur's heir lost his hope. Does it seem won to you?!"

"My lord-"

"He was the one who came up with the entire plan which defeated us. They lost very few people and we died by our own weapon!" Sauron seethed.

"My lord, it was unanticipated that-"

"Unanticipated! Of course it was unanticipated you fool! Who would have thought that the man would be even stronger without his hopes than with them? Nevertheless, I still blame you."

"What do you propose, my lord?"

"I propose that you release that Man's hopes at once! It is proving disastrous for us that he doesn't have them. Release them immediately."

"But my lord, think of the possibilities-"

"When I say something, I expect it to be followed without question."  
  
"Yes, my lord. It will be done."

"Good." The Eye faded away from the palantir. Saruman plunged his hand it to his robes and took out… a small box.

........

Notes from the Stoneage:

Hello, all! Thank you very, very much to all those who reviewed! I appreciate it. I'm so sorry I haven't updated in so many ages. My music exam got over day-before-yesterday and I'm now as free as a bird so you can expect quick updates from now on!

So how did you like the conversation between Sauron and Saruman? I'm always so unsure with conversations of that sort- did it read well to you? Please give me loads of criticism. Don't flame though. Please?

And if you just want to R&R, you're welcome to, just click on the purple button in the corner. PLEASE? The same goes for my silent readers (you know who you are)! Why don't you review? Just this once?

Guess what else, guys? There's only one chapter left for this story to be completed! Yipee!

P.S. This stupid quick edit thingy has erased my usual scene shifting symbol. Now I'm having to use dots.


	12. Hope Returns

Title: Despair and Hope  
  
Chapter 12: Hope Returns  
  
Aragorn's eyes flew open. He felt different somehow. As if he was back to normal. He looked down and gasped. His entire body seemed to be glowing with a wonderfully bright, blinding white light.  
  
He stood for a moment in stunned silence, gaping at himself and then suddenly realized what this meant. He watched the light receding into his chest and as it did, he felt a burden being lifted off his shoulders, bit by bit. He watched in wonder as the last of the light disappeared. He felt amazingly exhilarated. Suddenly the full impact of what had just happened hit him. Joy filled him.  
  
But with it came a slight doubt. That doubt had always resided in him before his hope had deserted him, it had become a subconscious emotion, buried far out of recall in the depths of his mind. And now it had resurfaced. He paused. Could he dare hope, he asked himself. And the answer came strong and loud from within him. Yes he could. Of course he could.  
  
Letting out a low cry of joy, he jumped out of bed. A sharp stabbing pain shot through his side. He clutched his side and waited for the pain to subside. He knew he should still be lying down, but he could not contain himself. He had to tell Legolas. He looked down at his bandaged torso and sighed.  
  
Eowyn is going to kill me for this, Aragorn thought wryly. He bent and put on his shoes, ignoring the stabbing pain shooting through his side again at the movement. He walked slowly out of the room, out of the healing quarters and into the main halls. Men were all about drinking, joking and making merry after their astounding victory. He stood, not wanting to disturb them, but one boy- Aragorn recognized him as Haleth, son of Hama- looked up and noticed him.  
  
"My lord!" the boy exclaimed. "My lord, should you not be resting!"  
  
"Never mind that, Haleth. I am glad you survived the war. As I told you, there is always hope. But enough of my preaching. Tell me, have you seen where my friend Legolas is?"  
  
"Yes, my lord. We all saw him. He looked very upset, my lord," the boy hesitated. "He-he could do with some of your preaching right now. We saw him storming off to the armory but ten minutes ago."  
  
Aragorn sped hastily to the armory. He opened the door. It was empty. He looked around spotted a folded piece of paper hung on one of the suits of armor. He took it. It was folded. On top it said, in Legolas's neat handwriting,  
  
May the one who finds this letter deliver it to Aragorn, son of Arathorn, Isildur's heir and ranger from the North.  
  
Aragorn opened it, puzzled. It was written in Elvish, so that there were fewer chances of it being read by any but him.  
  
Aragorn-  
  
It is with deep regret that I write this letter, for I know that its contents will cause you a great deal of anguish. But it is one that I must write, I am compelled to do it, and now I will explain why.  
  
A long time ago, when we met each other for the first time in the woods of Lothlorien, I never thought as much would come of it as it has. I was there to tell Haldir that my mother had passed away. I think he was just as shocked with the change in me as I was recently with the change in you, when you woke up in that box like room without your hopes. I was so cold, ice-cold. My own grief had over-powered me such that I had no time for his, even though I knew that he, being almost a brother to me, was far, far closer to my mother than I ever was. Haldir never had parents. I don't think he told you. My mother was everything to him.  
  
When I told him in clipped tones, without any preliminary warning, he just...withdrew. He didn't break down, his face just went completely blank, and stayed blank. You were a boon then. You taught him how to grieve. You taught me how to grieve. Before I knew it, our common affection for Haldir forged an unbreakable bond between us. I was terrified Aragorn. What if I lost you? You would die one day, I knew, and that day would leave me shattered, as a few shards of glass on a rough stone floor. The only way I managed to evade the pain was by the thought of death. If I killed myself as soon as you died, we would meet in the Halls of Mandos and even there our friendship could continue for as long as we wanted it to.  
  
I never dreamed I would lose you in so harsh way. I lost two friends on the same night, Aragorn. Haldir and Estel. The only things that kept me tied to the earth. There is nothing left for me here anymore. I cannot get over this. Especially now that I know that I shall not meet Estel in the Halls of Mandos, as he is trapped inside the box of a wizard. And knowing that I killed Estel. His death was my fault. He died because I showed signs of weakness when I failed him by not killing that cursed orc.  
  
So I am going to end my pain and misery. In those beautiful halls I will at least have one friend- Haldir. We will both grieve the death of Estel together and move on to the beauty of Valinor. You will find my body in the very spot where I showed my weakness, on the causeway. Please bury me beside my mother. Thank you for the wonderful friendship you have given me, even as Aragorn. I am sorry that I cannot find the heart to live with that friendship alone, without that of Estel's.  
  
Namarie from your loving friend,  
  
Legolas.  
  
Aragorn stared at the letter in speechless shock. It couldn't be true. He glanced at it, almost expecting to hear Legolas's voice, telling him that it wasn't true, none of it was true. Suddenly his instinct kicked in and he began to sprint towards the causeway, letter in hand, hoping, as Estel always did, that he would be in time.  
  
Okay you guys, I am SO sorry. I knew I said last time that this story would end on this chapter, but unfortunately my muses gave me another idea at the last minute (yesterday, in fact) and now it's going to be extended to another chapter. I think it's very mean of my muses to leave you all on another cliffie AGAIN after I said the end was near, and I would kill them, if it didn't mean killing myself.  
  
I hope you didn't get confused while reading this. For those who don't know, or want confirmation, ESTEL AND ARAGORN ARE THE SAME PERSON. OH YEAH, AND ESTEL MEANS HOPE. I should have said that ages ago, I know. I'm sorry.  
  
Okay, for review replies:  
  
To Star-Stallion: Thank you, you don't know how much I appreciate it.  
  
To Grumpy: Thank you for reviewing, and I'm glad you liked the last part, I was afraid it wouldn't go down well!  
  
Thank you to all the people who take the trouble to read this, even if you don't review. But I'm begging you, please do! Even if you know me personally review anyway. Even if you don't like Lotr, review anyway. You know you want to right? Or at least I hope you do.  
  
Bye! 


	13. The Hope of All Men

  
Title: Despair and Hope

Chapter 13: The Hope of All Men

  
Legolas contemplated the dagger in his hand. _How ironic_, he thought with a mirthless smile, _that the very blade that has saved my life a thousand times will now be used to end it. _ It was a beautiful dagger. The hilt was intricately carved with images of long ago battles fought and won, of beauty and splendor in times of peace. The back of the dagger had a message in Elvish, which Legolas had read many times:

Be at peace with yourself first,

Before you quench this dagger's thirst

_And you will find you will not need it,_

_When peace is in you, you can heed it._

Be at peace. How could he be at peace with himself? His best friend had died last night and he had nothing here worth living for anymore. He looked at the dawn, just starting to melt into day. It didn't feel like day. It didn't feel like a victory.

Defeat. Darkness. Despair.

The words kept plaguing his mind.

His head was aching, throbbing where Eowyn had hit it. He was tired. So tired. Of life, of pain, of loss. He wanted it to end. He raised his dagger a last time. The dagger gleamed as it began its fatal descent toward his heart.

.........

"LEGOLAS!" Aragorn's voice rang across the deserted causeway, across the corpses strewn everywhere, to Legolas's ears. Legolas's eye's jerked open. Knowing he had very little time left to do he plunged the dagger even more quickly toward his heart, but somehow, _somehow_, the human got there first. His hand closed over the blade and he jerked the hilt out of Legolas's hand. Ignoring the pain searing through his cut hand, he flung the knife on the floor and rounded on Legolas.

"What in all of Arda do you think you're doing?!" he thundered.

"What in all of Arda do _you_ think you're doing?!" Legolas retorted.

There was a pause, filled with ragged, angry breathing.

Then Legolas seemed to realize that Aragorn was hurt.

"Let me see your hand," he said, reaching out for it.

"No, I'm fine," Aragorn said, drawing away.

"You are not fine!" Legolas screamed, taking Aragorn by surprise. "This is what I hate about you, you never admit it when you're not fine! What's wrong with you? Do you want to kill all your friends with worry? If you'd just _told_ me that you'd lost your hopes, if you'd told me from your own mouth, instead of trying to pretend of everything was alright, and you were just as strong as ever-" he stopped, unable to continue. He was shaking with anger.

"Legolas-" Aragorn said, recovering himself.

"SHUT UP!"

"_Legolas!_" Aragorn said loudly, grasping his shoulders and shaking them roughly. "Listen to me!"

"No," Legolas said, turning his head away.

"Listen to me! I'm cured! I saw it happen. I saw my hope return. A beautiful white light. I saw it with my own eyes."

"I don't believe you," Legolas said in an almost inaudible voice.

"Then look into my eyes. They have never lied to you."

Legolas looked. He saw the missing light shining there again, brighter than ever. Unspeakable joy filled him, even as he told himself not to believe…

"Estel," he breathed.

It was enough. All the anger, everything they had said to each other in the passed few days was washed away. All the bitterness was gone. That one word had been all it had taken to wipe the state clean. Later, Legolas marveled at it, the wonder of the whole thing. But now he just grasped his friend's shoulders and pulled him into an embrace.

Aragorn gasped at the sudden pressure on his side. Legolas quickly broke away from him.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you…wait a minute, you should be in bed!" he glared at Aragorn.

Aragorn grinned at him. "Bed is the one place where I should not be. What would have become of you if I'd lain in bed like a good little boy, eh?"

Legolas was about to make some clever reply to this, when a shooting pain shot through his head again. The world spun. He swayed.

Aragorn, whose reflexes were always very quick, caught him and lowered him slowly to the ground.

"What's the matter?" he asked anxiously. "Where are you hurt?"

"Nowhere," Leoglas said immediately, "I'm fine."

Aragorn began to laugh. "You are not fine," he said, shaking with laughter, "this is what I hate about you Legolas, you never admit it…" he couldn't continue. He clutched his sides, groaning and laughing at the same time.

Legolas looked perplexed for a moment then suddenly caught on. His own melodious laughter filled the air.

"Touché," he said between chuckles.

Aragorn grinned and straightened up. "What really _is_ the matter with you?"

"I…Eowyn knocked me out with her sword hilt," Legolas said, giving in.

"She did WHAT?!"

"To prevent me from going after Haldir. I believe I fought her like a madman, she had no choice," Legolas said quickly. "It was a pretty hard hit. My head's still sore."

Aragorn stared at him. "Tell me mellonamin," he said, "how on earth do you manage to get yourself into scrapes of this sort? You have a talent, it seems, far exceeding the skill of even that fool of a Took!"

"You flatter me." He smiled, but the smile turned to a wince as pain shot through his head again. He rubbed his head.

"Let me see your head," Aragorn said, worried again.

Legolas obediently bent his golden head to Aragorn's eye level. There didn't seem to be anything wrong with it outwardly. He pressed at it.

"Does that hurt?"

"No."

"Now?" he said pressing it at another angle.

"Yes," Legolas said, his eyes screwed up.

Aragorn poked and prodded awhile more and then said, "There's nothing seriously wrong with it, just a little bump. You've had much worse. But…why aren't you healing?" He looked closely at his friend's face and saw the dark shadows underling his blue eyes. "When did you last sleep?"

"Er…" Legolas said, considering. "A week ago, I think"

"You haven't slept in a week?!"

"No. And now I realize why, too. That was when I started feeling so sorry and hopeless all of a sudden. Must have been when Saruman performed the spell."

"Well I don't see why you shouldn't be alright after you get some rest. Everyone needs rest and sleep to fight off any illness. Elves particularly are dependent upon sleep even though they need less of it than mortals. If they don't get that rest, the amount they do need, they fail to heal quickly. You, my friend, had better be going to bed."

"But-"

"No buts, Legolas, you're not arguing with me on this one!"

"I go to bed only if you go to bed too. You need it just as much as I do."

"Oh, all right," Aragorn grumbled. He rose and pulled Legolas to his feet.

They walked back to the healing quarters in companionable silence.

"Goodnight, mellonamin," Aragorn said, smiling at Legolas and pointing him into an empty room.

"Goodnight, Estel," came the reply, as Aragorn closed the door behind him.

......

Aragorn walked toward his own room, but suddenly stopped. He remembered that Eowyn was hurt. He wanted to see her before he went to bed. He turned sharply to the right and down another passage and came to another door.

"Is this where Lady Eowyn sleeps?" he asked a Healer.

"No my lord, it is that room," the man said, pointing to a door on the far left.

......

"Thank you."

Aragorn knocked. There wasn't any reply. He pushed the door open. Eowyn was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. Her shoulder was heavily bandaged.

"Eowyn," he called her, jerking her out of her reverie.

"Aragorn!" she replied exasperatedly, "You should be in bed!"

Aragorn winced. Why was everyone saying that to him?

"Yes but…I wanted to tell you something. Some good news."

She turned on her good side and glanced at him. Her face broke into a smile. "Your hope is back, right? You're cured, aren't you?"

He looked at her in surprise. "How did you-?"

"Oh Aragorn that's child's play! You look so happy. Anyone who knows you well could have told in an instant."

_Legolas couldn't, _Aragorn thought. To his surprise he found that he had spoken this aloud.

She shifted. "You told him, then?"

"Yes! And it was a good thing I arrived when I did, because…"

"Because?"

"He was trying to kill himself."

"I'm sorry, Aragorn. But I don't think it completely strange. You are, after all, the Hope of All Men. You are beginning to see how much you mean to the people who care about you. And perhaps it will become a huge burden. But I can always give you a shoulder to lean on_._ I love you Aragorn, but only as a brother. I have finally understood that."

There was a pause.

"Thank you," he whispered. He began to walk towards the door.

"Goodnight Aragorn."

"Goodnight."

And as Aragorn walked back to his room, he somehow felt at peace with the world. He didn't know that Gandalf and Eomer would return in a few hours. He didn't know that at that very moment, the river of Isengard was being released, and Saruman being rendered useless. But he knew that it would all come right in the end, somehow or the other.

Perhaps it was just Estel talking, perhaps not. But right now, he didn't really care.

THE END

The end, the end, the end! Ha ha ha! It feels so wonderful writing that. This was my first fic and when I started it, I thought it'd never get done. And it is! Yay! Even if it does have thirteen chapters. Very unlucky. Won't prevent me from getting more than 30 reviews will it? I hope not. That's my goal!

And now for review replies:

To Star-Stallion: Thank you for your encouragement. Your reviews have been the sunlight of my life, for the past few weeks. I hope I'll still have them for the next fic.

To Deana: Welcome back! The last time you reviewed was 10 chapters ago. And thanks for adding me to your author alert watch list. You're the only one so far, and I really am happy.

To Grumpy: My favourite anonymous reviewer. Thank you!

To Anarya: I'm sorry. I couldn't end it like that. I had a hard enough time writing this chapter in the first place, writer's block you know, and I'm also terrified of touching any unrealistic mush. Please forgive me. But thanks a million for all the encouragement and the criticism too.

Well now that it is nearing 1 am, I think I'm gonna hit the sack.

HOPING TO SEE YOU ALL NEXT FIC!

Bye! (sniffle)


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